Can I do something about addiction ?
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XANNIES, ADDS, TUSSIN, FOOTBALLS, BARS, ROOFIES, ROBOTRIPPIN, BLUEBERRIES, ROACHES, PEACHES, PHARMIES
By the time you realize it, you’ve started doing it pretty frequently, you’re going to be physically addicted and then you’re at a point where you can’t stop even if you want to.
Every prescription drug has an effect on you, that’s why doctors give them to people. Some people think that because drugs come from a doctor, they’re safe, but taking them for recreational use to get high can be just as dangerous and addictive as taking street drugs.
A pill can have a totally different reaction on you than the person it was prescribed for. So a drug that’s okay for somebody else could be dangerous for you. Because of potential for abuse and addiction, the DEA puts many prescription drugs in the same category as opium and cocaine.
They’re then paid obviously by, you know, the pharmaceutical companies
There’s basically 4 different categories. Depressant, opioids and morphine derivatives, stimulants and antidepressants. They come in capsules, tablets and liquids.
A lot of people think that taking a prescription medication is okay because it’s not illegal, but the truth is that taking a prescription drug or giving a prescription drug is a form of using drugs or drug dealing.
The first time I ever took Xanax was with friends. They just had some and I was curious.
I was curious and I had a friend who has told me about it and I wanted to try it and I tried it.
It was in high school. I remember one of my friends had gotten a tooth pulled I think it was, and got a prescription of them.
He had an entire bottle and he was just telling me what it was and if I wanted to try it and I just went for it.
I was introduced to it by a friend of mine that actually was going to see a psychiatrist to get it.
I was just hearing all of these good things like, or these fun things. It’s like you’re drunk, you don’t have to drink. I was like, “Oh they must be great. I’ll try one.”
It’s like, okay well take these. You’ll have a great night. You’ll you know, you’re going to feel really good and you know, it’s going to be totally fine.
My best friend at high school, she gave me one because her boy friend used to take them and she thought that they made her more comfortable around him and more secure about herself and so she was like, “Hey, try one,” you know.
I would try anything that anybody had, just test out different prescriptions and it just kept moving up.
KLONOPIN, XANAX, VALIUM
I wasn’t picky about what kind I took whether it was Klonopin or Xanax or Valium. I mean so many of my friends were getting it prescribed from psychiatrist and they were going to two or three different one at once so we had a pretty steady flow of it.
I started like going to doctors and you know, telling them a lie about trying to get Xanaxs you know. Tell them I couldn’t concentrate at school or I was just nervous or not comfortable around anybody and then I would start getting prescription.
Being that they’re prescribed, it was easy to justify to myself that I would probably be the kind of a guy who needed this kind of thing and it was like okay.
At school like I didn’t really remember the day or made the day go by really quickly. So I got them as often as I could and I took them as often as I could.
They tend to blur reality quite a bit and the days sort of run into one another. Days turns into weeks that turns into months, you don’t realize it, it just sort of slips away from you.
Because I wasn’t experiencing anything that I cared about in life. I didn’t have any feelings. I didn’t have any emotions.
I kind of like mold myself into a false sense of security feeling, like I was getting away with the stuff even though I still had to deal with them when I came down.
You’re constantly high so you’re not yourself. You’re not the person that anyone in your life knew you were as. You’re some stranger to them and you’re mean.
I would steal from my mom. I would steal from my brother. I would act out at family functions. I’d make a fool of myself. I would embarrass them. I would tell them things that I didn’t mean. Be very hateful.
And it got to a point when my family kicked me out of the house and weren’t willing to have me around me when I was taking it because of how violent I would get.
Within 24 hours you start to come down and you crash out of it.
Feeling like the worst cases of flu, can’t move, can’t think. Just don’t feel like yourself at all.
You feel yourself starting to get depressed, being just less happy with everything around you.
I was very depressed. My panic attacks and anxiety was at a high, very high point.
I would be very emotional. I would start crying and angry.
When you’re in that position, when you’re feeling really physically ill and you know that you can get rid of it, it can be gone in 20 minutes. It’s just all too easy to reach over and grab some more.
By the time somebody’s been addicted for so long they don’t have enough strength left in them to actually try and do that so it’s just easier to stay high.
I would black out and you’re like okay. What happened for the last two days? You piece things together and you couldn’t remember it one bit. Like totally blank.
When I would black out I was completely awake but I have no recollection of what happened. On my way home from a party I got into three different car accidents because I was blacked out and I had no idea of what I was doing. Got to my mom’s house and the cops were coming. I knew they were coming, my only solution was, my plan was to blow up my car in my mom’s driveway. So I went out and I set my car on fire.
I passed out at a party. I woke up, the next thing I knew I was at a hospital and my friend that I was at the party with, told me what happened and said that I took about 20 Xanaxs at that night. They called an ambulance, took me to the emergency room and then pumped my stomach. They thought I was trying to kill myself but I was just trying to get high.
I was drinking with a guy and he kept on like encouraging me to drink more and I didn’t understand. I just didn’t really question it. I think I was 16 and then about a few hours later, I woke up in his bed and we were having sex and I started crying and I pushed him off of me. I don’t know how he thought that was okay. I don’t know how I didn’t say no. I don’t remember so I assumed that I did but maybe I didn’t, like you just don’t know. When you use Rohypnol and you’re forgetting everything. You just, you have no idea what you really did.
A guy that I used to know is on death row now in Arizona because he was on Rohypnol. He took a lot of them and ended up killing somebody.
A buddy of mine continued to go in and out of bathroom using Ritalin and he managed to put himself into state of unconsciousness and jumped of a 6 storey balcony and when he hit the ground, he was, he was immediately dead.
I knocked out in a bedroom and woke up to find my friend. He was laid out on the floor, he overdosed and he passed away. He’s been laying there for 2 days and my friend, this other girl, she was sitting on the chair right where I left her, slumped over, blue. I actually had to crawl over two dead friends to get out of the door.
LONG TERM EFFECTS
Even when you come off of it you’re still cloudy in a way. You can’t comprehend, and short term memory loss.
Things don’t seem to be as clear in my mind. Things don’t seem to connect as quickly in my mind.
I don’t remember any of the times that I was blacked out. Everything that I know from when I was blacked out comes from third party, so there’s definitely a chunk of my life that I’m missing and I don’t know that I’ll ever get them back.
There’s weeks of time that I had no idea, you know, what was going on.
The people who want you to buy these drugs, they don’t care. They really don’t care about what happens to you. They want the money and that’s really what it comes down to you, otherwise they just wouldn’t do it. They wouldn’t make it sound so good. They wouldn’t make it so sound interesting and they wouldn’t make it sound like this thing is, it’s going to be this one time fun thing.
If I knew what the side effects and the consequences and I knew that I was going to be the way I was, I mean there would be no way that I would have ever taken that Xanax because till this day I have a lot of regrets.
The biggest danger of it is, seriously the word out of mouth, people talk about it and always heard good about it because they think its okay, it’s not going to hurt you but it’s just as hard on you as a cocaine would be. Eventually it gets to where it grabs hold on you and sucks you in.
Just because it’s readily available, and just because you can get it from your doctor, and just because your mom has it in the medicine cabin or whatever, it doesn’t make it okay and it doesn’t mean that it’s safe.
I remember when I was little you got on TV saying “just say no”. I’m like, okay just say no, whatever, but nobody ever says this is going to kill you. This is going to take your life away. This is going to make your family hate you. It’s going to make you girlfriend hate you. It’s going to make your life a living hell. I probably would have listened to them.